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March 02 The BeginningIn your mad cap lives of running after your toddlers, changing the endless diapers, car pooling the endless games and activites do you sit for a moment and dream of becoming an empty nester? Ahhh, sweet silence. Time for all those things you want to do now, but too damn tired and never enough time. This happened to me. On a few occassions during a soccer practice or dance class as I waited patiently, hiding in my car for some quiet "me" time I would dream of what it would be like for my husband and I to be empty nesters. Don't get me wrong, I love my daughters more than life itself and would do absolutely anything in the world for them. But to become an empty nester, ahhhh. I pictured a beach on crystal blue water, the Eiffel Tower, Rome, hopping on the motorcycle whenever we felt like it. Just to be able to go to a movie because you feel like it without having to plan it! What Freedom!
Three years ago this month, that empty nester time was creeping upon us. Out of the blue, I decided being an empty nester is not what I wanted to do. I enjoyed the teens hanging out, all the football games, basketball games, drill team competitions, endless activities........after 20 years it was suddenly coming to a screeching halt.
I don't like this. I decided I didn't want to have any part of it. Hell, what was I going to do with my days? I've spent 25 years raising my children, husband, and helping out with family and friends. What the else am I going to do? I was falling apart. Crying every day. Curling up in the covers in my bed and not wanting to get out for any reason. Why? What was left? No one will need me anymore. Out of the work force basically for over 20 years. That's it. It's over......What the hell am I going to do now????
Boy was I wrong. My baby girl went off to college (22 minutes from our door to hers). My older daughter delivered baby boy. It's been three years. The kids are "on their own" either in the "working world" or in college, but they won't leave home. It may not make sense to those of you with younger children, but it does to those of us with college kids. They don't leave suddenly. They ease out slowly yet never really gone.
You may always be a parent, but I miss the 0-18 years so much sometimes it hurts. Enjoy it parents going mad out there! You will miss the madness I promise. I'd take them back in a heartbeat even though it drove me crazy. |
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